I sometimes yell at my children. I lose patience. Driving in the car I will be thinking about work so I don't listen to what they are saying until they scream "mommy, you are not listening to me" for my attention. There have been mornings I have been so exhausted I have fallen back asleep on the couch while they watch cartoons and I let them eat candy for breakfast. I don't do playdates like I should. And my house is a mess.
Yes Beth, lets get our real estate license during the worst economic times since the depression. Am I a masochist or what? Thank goodness I love it or the stress might topple me completely. And unfortunately, that stress can come out at home. Because my children are my safe place.
And yet, the unconditional love of my daughter blankets over my failings. I feel so undeserving sometimes.
But I do apologize to teach them to say "I am sorry". I ask for forgiveness. I cry in front of my children when I am sad...to teach them that it is ok to cry. I teach them to express their feelings--good and bad. I don't say "you are bad"...I call their actions "bad choices". I constantly tell them how amazing they are, how wonderful, how much I love them. I laugh at myself with them. We laugh at each other. My children know they are loved.
I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a mom. And to be given the chance to be a better mom each day. Before my children, I felt frazzled. I just didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. Not everyone needs children to be fulfilled. But for me, my kids are a clear path. Thats my purpose (note to self).
My daughter is this quirky, brilliant, witty, creative, dramatic ancient soul. She wants to either be a veterinarian or President of the United States.
My son is this wild, hilarious, loving, moody, fashion conscious, center of attention. He calls himself Mr. Handsome.
Thank you Meaghan and Joshy for letting me be your mom. If you chose me....I got really lucky.
