My love/hate relationship with my cell phone, Mike

I think I will name my phone Mike. I have dated a lot of Mikes through the years. Some of them I still love as people and friends. Others, not so much, because they are narcissistic sociopaths. My dating history is another blog post. My love compass clearly stopped working every so many months.

But just to clarify, if you happen upong this link because we are friends on facebook and your name is Mike...you are in the "like" category.

But to get back to Mike, my cell phone....

Oh Mike, I love you....but I hate you. I hate you....but I love you.

I was on vacation this past week and I made a concerted effort to not answer the phone. Of course, I did not turn it off. 90% of the time it was within arms reach. I may have picked it up and looked at the number calling....but overall in terms of not answering....I think on a grading scale I probably got a "B". Yayyy ME!

I remember growing up until age 9, there were two phones in the whole house....one in the kitchen and one in my parents room. These were land lines with cords and round dials. And these were not like stretch cords. Like you had 2 feet to move while making a call. 

And then we moved and I became interested in boys. There was still no caller ID, no voice messages, no call waiting. I mean, if a boy was calling, you begged your parents to get off the phone and prayed to the telephone gods that the phone would ring. And when it did, you'd have to stretch that cord as far as it would go and hide on the stairwell to have any measure of privacy. And then there was little brother who could pick up the phone and make weird kissing noises on the line.

At 11, my parents actually put a phone in my room. At 13, I actually got my own phone line for my birthday. AND I even got an answering machine so people could leave messages if I wasn't there. Oh and the fabulous prank messages you could leave without worrying about people knowing who you were. Or the "Love" messages with boys anonymously playing "Hello" by Lionel Ritchie or "Against All Odds" on your answering machine.

*Sigh*....the age of the secret admirer.

So what changed? Well, the conversations became a little less innocent. I got less sleep for staying up until all hours talking to my guy "best friends". Amazing how at 13 you have an array of guy best friends. And by 40, you may have one if you are lucky. But thats another blog post. And THE DRAMA. Three-way phone calls to catch someone saying mean things about you or getting a confession from your boyfriend that he kissed another girl. The long-drawn out breakups. The fighting with mom/dad over losing phone privileges. How that would ruin your life for eternity. Man, these phones brought a lot of new stress to our young lives.

And then came the car phone. I didn't have many friends with these huge mechanical things in their cars but many of our parents did. All of a sudden people were working crazy hours. There was no "leave your work at work" if you were going to a family dinner. Because inevitably, the phone would ring.

And am I crazy but did the divorce rate skyrocket when people could have secret lives in their cars? I think car phones were to the 80s like facebook is to today. I wonder how many marriages might have lasted if it weren't so easy to keep secrets via automobile?

And then came cell phones. I actually didn't break down and get one until I was like 28. And at that point life was still slightly more peaceful because not everyone had a cell phone...so it wasn't ringing off the hook for personal and/or business reasons. It was easy to have lots of left-over minutes.

But it was at that time, that the line between personal time/family time/ business time became blurry. Because, hey, it was kind of fun to be able to call all your friends from everywhere you went whenever they popped into your brain.

And now everyone has a cell. Land lines are becoming extinct. You are never alone. You never have to be alone. We all have a Mike at our side.

The good side...if your child busts his head open...you can reach your partner at the gym. If there is a work emergency...it can be resolved more quickly. If your kids live with your ex-husband half the time, you have a better shot of talking to them everyday. In those moments, I'm like "Thank God for Mike and all his friends".

But a side effect of this, I believe, is that we've all lost patience. There is this constant sense of urgency as well as entitlement. "Well I KNOW you have your phone with you so how dare you not answer it"!!?? And it is hard to leave work behind when you know you could make life a lot easier for colleagues if you just made a phone call. Or 2. Or 10.

And then we have these mini-computers at our fingertips. So we have immediate accesss to our friends, family, the weather, business, celebrity scandals, the definition of arachibutyrophobia, the end of the world. And don't get me started on texting (and I do text....just sayin')

I have gotten to the point where I want to put Mike down but I can't seem to make myself. Sometimes I can feel the anxiety in my stomach as I surf the internet via phone. Weird.

Until this vacation. Where I stopped answering my phone. And I played with my kids in the lake. And kicked butt at laser tag. And took a ghost tour. And looked for sea glass. All without a phone. And much stress dissipated. It was lovely.

So I am on the fence about if the world is a better place with cell phones. As with many of my posts these days....the key is finding the balance.

Darn you Mike.