Camp Piomingo

I am not an outdoorsy gal. I'm sure this comes of no surprise to those who have known me a long time or even a short while. Here is what I appreciate about the outdoors.

The ocean--I like the sound of it while I sit and listen to the waves. I also enjoy grabbing sanddollars with my toes in thigh deep water. Seriously, I have a gift. I always throw them back. Just the thrill of the find.The sound of insects at night. Now don't get me near cicadas or grasshoppers but the sound is incredibly lulling. I like thinking that you could dive into a cloud. I used to think that cloud were heaven. The first time I flew in a plane I remember looking for angels. I also can imagine the life in all living things. Perhaps its my Cherokee indian heritage flowing through my veins but I can kind of relate to Disney's Pocahontas. Wouldn't it be great to have a tree to give you advice?

I am not a fan, however, of dirt or sand in my toes or fingernails. I hate being dirty. I am terrified of caves. Repelling is for people who don't care about living. I don't care for shared showers or mudslides.

And there was my traumatic camp experiences at ages 9, 10, 11 and 12--mud, caves, shower shoes. I will never forget the child who had diarrhea in the river we were crossing. I had fears about swimming in a river for the rest of my life. But when my daughter started begging for camp...I felt a bit thrilled on the inside.

My daughter has been begging for camp for months on end. She doesn't care about bringing a friend. She wants to be outdoors, riding horses, ziplining, camping overnight, cooking things over a fire. This is a girl comfortable in her own skin. She knows what brings her joy and is not afraid to take a chance.

We went to Holiday World the other weekend and she said "mom, I prayed the whole time that I would have the courage to ride every ride and fight my fear". Again, this child is a million years old

When Meaghan was three she looked at me and said "Mom, in this life...don't be afraid, be curious". Somehow we were talking about the Bermuda triangle...but I still tell myself this when I find myself retreating over something in life.

So I am amazed by my little girl. I do not believe I have pushed her to be the things I always wished I could have been. Independent, courageous, finding joy in everything, fearless, confident, and so comfortable in her own skin. I know she is simply herself. But sometimes I look at her and think about how I wish I could have been more like that. As a result, I tell her all the time how much she amazes me.

And she really does.

So while Camp Piomingo was a mix of fun and traumatic experiences...I so look forward to giving my daughter what she begged for for so long. She is nervous and excited. She asked me tonight what to do if the other girls didn't like her. I said "Meag--who doesn't like you? Everyone likes you". With a laugh in her eye she said "robbers and bad people do not like me". I said "well, lets pray you have no mean robbers as cabinmates".

I can't believe I can't speak to her for 5 days. I already mailed her a letter.

So many memories my daughter will be replicating. But better.

I couldn't have asked for a cooler kid. Everything I wish I could have been. And now I get to empower her. Momhood really rocks.

What Earns Me Stripes At 40

So here are the main things tonight thatI think I can say I have learned that I feel worth sharing on my birthday...

1) Be kind to those you care the most about. We seem to take out our frustrations on the ones we are the closest to. Change that. Forget those who do not matter. Love on those who mean something.

2) Drink water. It just works.

3) Red Lipstick can change an entire perspective. Treat her with caution.

4) Life is unfair. Someone will have it worse than you. You will lose people you love starting now and they were not prepared. Practice gratitiude.

5) Be impeccable with your word. This one sort of sucks. It means you have to be honest when you could honestly just make something up and no one would know. Better to be honest. You smell better.

I really thought I would be so empowered and enlightened at 40. I feel scared.  Do I need to live differently? Adjust my priorities? I like how the earth twirls and that the sun and moon change shapes and sizes depending on my perspective.

I guess I will figure it out. Happy Birthday Me. To the 5 year-old Beth, the 16-year old Beth, the 32-year old Beth and now. Happy Happy.

I love life. I really do.