The Item

So imagine you've had a bath and you are ready for a relaxing night at home with Netflix. And you put on the most comfy yet ugliest pair of pajamas you own...which may singlehandedly indicate why you are home alone. When alas, you realize there is no cat food.


So you decide to be "that person" and venture to Walgreens in said pjs to get cat food and some necessary toiletries. So you go...and it is shockingly crowded. And people are looking at you...in the ugly pjs. And you are slightly humiliated so you are trying to keep a low profile.


So imagine you arrive at checkout...and a crowd of people are lining up behind you. A mixed bunch of people....families, young guys and an alcoholic painter. And the cashier begins to ring you up.


 Now think of the one ITEM you need to buy that you pray no one notices. The ITEM that makes you duck your head as she scans it. Well, in my case, as she scans said ITEM...she yells "oh no" and gets on the intercom and says "I need a manager...computer shutdown". So as everyone in line looks to the counter to see what has shut down the Walgreens computer system...she holds up the ITEM to me and loudly says "see I scanned it here and it just shut the whole thing down".


So I turn to the entire line of people and say "yes...my ITEM shut down the computer and I'm wearing my pajamas".


If you are gonna be humiliated...might as well own that baby. The end.