It has been quite a while since I last posted. I've had a lot of alone time to think and feel and play with my kids...bolster my business. I just haven't felt inspired to write. But apparently (and flatteringly so)....people continue to read my blog. And in some instances personalizing what I've said. Even asking "was that about me"?
I dated a musician/songwriter once and I had so many fantasies about him writing a song about me....which never happened sadly....it could have been a great song...but oh well, and I digress...
So let me just say this...Sometimes it's about you. It usually is not. If I thought something about you then....I probably told you about it because I say too much anyway. I am about as mysterious as the guy in the gorilla suit on the side of the road with a sign saying he will buy your gold.
But because you asked....I'm going to jot down a bunch of secrets about you and you and you--some for 20 years...feel free to guess what goes where.
- Because of you, I still think about eating peanuts on my carrots.
- You taught me to love poetry and changed the course of my life.
- You won't be faithful to her either--you quit every time the going gets tough and look for a new shiny thing. I feel sad for you...but mostly her.
- Everytime I smell Drakkar Noir I think of you.
- There were a few nights I woke up every couple of hours all night long --I would remember you weren't in my life anymore and then cry myself back to sleep.
- You snore but it's ok.
- You snore but it's not.
- I wish you kissed differently. It is why we broke up.
- I can picture seeing you for the first time and everything else went out of focus. To this day...I feel that way sometimes if I think of you.
- I haven't seen you for years since you were married but your wife "liked" a bunch of my facebook photos. I didn't know someone could do that who wasn't a facebook "friend". I was scared for a minute. I hope it's because she really liked them...
- I kept dating you because of your dog. I threw away your pictures. I kept one of him.
- You are one of the most amazing people I have ever known. I was so young and immature. To this day I am haunted by the fact I hurt you. Seeing your newborn son was poignant and amazing. I was not good enough for you.
- I will always be polite and civil...but you will never be able to hurt my feelings again. I will not risk being your friend....you bite people who offer their hand to you.
- When you kissed me for the first time and cupped my face with your hand...it was a moment I won't forget.
- I wanted to tell you I loved you. Because I think I did.
- I thought I loved you in a romantic way but I really didn't. I'm sorry I said it because I know it confused you. You deserved better from me. I appreciate and respect you more than you know.
- Why didn't you ever ask me about what I liked?
- You told me the same stories over and over and I pretended it was new...every. single. time.
- 4 of these are about you.
- I want to say something kind about you but years later I'm still too sore.
- You smell like heaven.
- I can't forgive you.
- I'll never forget you.
